Category Archives: Parenting

The Talk

I just finished catching up on all my DVRed shows.  The DVR is set to record certain shows every week or every day.  For instance, Oprah.  I truly love that show when it is good.  That’s the nice thing about DVR.  I can just fast forward through all the crap or erase a show that doesn’t interest me.

I swear I cry over something I see on Oprah at least three times a week.  What a sap. 

Did anyone see her shows on when and how to talk to your kids about sex?  Wow.  I’m no prude, but I am seriously dreading having that talk with my girls.  I did not have the talk with my mom until the deed was already done and I was terribly resistant to anything she had to tell me. 

My mom was a terrible snoop back in the day and I wasn’t about to go to her with any questions.  Anything I would have told her would have been told to my aunts, sister, dad, etc.  How mortifying.  I didn’t even tell her when I got my period and she didn’t find out for six months after. 

All things reproductive embarrassed the hell out of me.  If my mom hung my bra on the clothesline, I wanted to die.  If a love scene came on Dallas or Falcon Crest, I ran out of the room.  So the lines of communication were not good.  I had a set of 4 encyclopedias, that I still have, published circa 1965, that taught me all that I knew back in grade school.

Just watching the mom on the show give the talk to her daughter, wow.  I don’t want to do it, but I know I have to in order to have a healthy relationship with my kids.  I want them to be able to come to me with anything and not be ashamed, embarrassed, etc.  My God, I was 26, married and having to tell my mom and dad that I was pregnant with Ashley was so embarrassing.  It was like stating, “Hey folks, I had sex”.  So I definitely want things to be better for my kids.  I also don’t want my daughters sneaking off to K-Mart buying “things” and hoping for the best or sneaking around and cutting class in order to visit a clinic to get birth control pills.  Thanks Michelle for driving that day when I chickened out 🙂

The doctor on the show has a downloadable handbook on Oprah’s website.  Gulp.  She’s got some controversial stuff in there for the teenagers, but I guess it’s better coming from a parent than a friend on the bus.  It’s not like they won’t find out about it on their own. 

I’ve got a few years before I have to worry (I hope).  So far the questions coming from my kids have been pretty easy to answer.


Posted by on May 20, 2009 in Kids, Life, Parenting


Softball Season Is Here

Ashley had her first softball practice last night. The season is starting earlier, a month earlier, this year. I’m annoyed, but it will help improve their skills. Last year they had two practices before the games started. I must say it was warmer in June. The moms sitting on the sideline froze their butts off. I was prepared. I wore my parka and gloves.

There’s a new coach this year. A teamate’s mom. I don’t have enough information to form an opinion as of yet.

Having the kids throw to one another in the blinding sun when they could have simply turned to the side annoyed me. Another mother griped about the same thing and I told her, “You know her, go tell her to move them.” She said, “No way in hell, she was my daughter’s soccer coach and we had a tiff last year.” Great. That’s one of the reasons I don’t want to be a coach or girl scout leader. I would piss people off without even trying.

Ashley got hit by the ball twice. Poor kid. I didn’t see either time because I was busy yakking as usual. She was a trooper and after a few tears went right back out and continued. I probably would have quit after getting hit in the mouth.

One of the dads helped the coach and they split the girls up into two groups. The dad was batting grounders and the kids were practicing fielding them. The coach was batting line drives at her kids who were about 30 feet away. Great. Glad my accident prone kid was with the dad. Some of these kids have never played before.

Next practice is on Friday night from 6:00-7:00. That’s super. Just because I was actually thinking of making plans for that night.

This is going to be a long damn season.


Posted by on May 19, 2009 in Ashley, Kids, Parenting, Sports


D’s Birthday Party

Sunday started off as usual – kids waking us up way before we wanted and getting irritated at each other because neither of us wanted to be the one to get up with them. I should have been allowed to sleep for a variety of reasons, but I got up. Started a day filled with parenting, cleaning, laundry, etc.

In the afternoon I had to bring Ashley to a classmate’s birthday party in RP. Morgan was quite bummed, but not as hysterical as she had been on Thursday when Ashley received the invitation. The classmate’s sister is in Morgan’s class and told Morgan that she could come too. Well you know how little kids can be. She cried for 30 minutes when we explained that she couldn’t go blah, blah, blah.

After dropping Ashley off, Morgan and I went to a local store to buy Father’s Day cards and my mom’s birthday card. It’s her 73rd birthday today. We also went through the McDonald’s drive-thru for some McNuggets and milkshakes.

Two hours went by quickly and back we went to pick Ashley up. The party wasn’t finished when we got there. The hired clowns were making balloons and the kids were getting their faces painted. Morgan was included in this activity which thrilled her.

Yeah, I know, poor placement of the balloon in the following photo:

Cute faces, but washing it off, yeah, that didn’t thrill me.

Two happy kids, one ruined washcloth.


Posted by on May 18, 2009 in Ashley, Kids, Morgan, Parenting, Photos


Spring Concert 2009

Grades 2-5 had their spring concert on Friday. Ashley’s grade went on first and did a little number about caps for sale. It was cute and my kid was cute in her new outfit and pigtails. I even got to catch a glimpse of Morgan coming back from a bathroom break.

I stayed for 45 minutes and that was all I could endure. When it’s your own kid that’s one thing, but listening to 30+ recorders being played by children I don’t know, yeah, not my thing. I snuck out between routines and went downstairs to the art display. I took some photos of the girls’ artwork and then I left to do a few errands and race home before the bus.

Later after Dan got home from work, we went to a rummage sale of sorts and proceeded to obtain more crap than we needed, but got quite a few nice things as well (ornaments, tools, camper stuff, etc.)

We got back late and Dan even agreed to go get pizza at A*ngel*os. I’m sure he went along with it only because I used my gift card. The big cheapskate.


Posted by on May 18, 2009 in Ashley, Kids, Parenting, Photos


A Movie & A Meltdown (or Two)

Like I haven’t bitched about spring break enough already. 

Because it was officially spring break, I emailed Dan awhile back to see if he wanted to do anything with the kids while they were on vacation.  I gave him three simple options – A, B or C.  All options within driving distance of home.  He never opened the email until after we collectively chose option B.  Option B was the easiest and cheapest (perfect for Dan) going to pburgh last Monday and watching Monsters vs. Aliens at the new theater.  By the way, it was good, especially for a kid movie.  The rest of the outing involved running errands and didn’t go well.  Not by a long shot.

This is the email response I received from Dan (after the fact):


I guess I’ll choose option B.  After the movie we can bring the kids to Wal-mart to do a little grocery shopping.  They should be good after bringing them to the movie first.  After shopping we can stop at Wendy’s for a little snack.  Ashley can get a plain burger and Morgan should do just fine with some nuggets without fries.  She’s not a big fan of fries is she?  After getting food the kids will act well for the rest of the way home.  Sounds good to me, lets make plans but don’t tell the kids.  It will be a surprise.”



Posted by on April 18, 2009 in Family, Funny, Kids, Parenting


Wordless Wednesday – First Day of School

Today Ashley started first grade and Morgan started PreK.  Big day for both girls.


Wordless Wednesday – Smuggling A Torpedo

July 2003 – 8 months preggers with Morgan.  I was gargantuan! 

It’s okay, feel free to comment on my substantial girth 🙂

Click here for more Wordless Wednesday participants.