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Category Archives: Family

Camping

Camping slideshow.

Before making the mistake of mentioning it in front of the kids, Dan and I discussed camping out in the pop-up (pup) and he was willing.  I didn’t have to cajole for once.  Amazing.

I wanted to try it out before we actually attempted camping in public.  Wanted to get a feel for what we can do to make it go smoothly the next time out.

So Dan moved the pup to the back field and we set it up.  I won’t lie, it was a pain in the butt trying to locate everything we needed.  Of course most of it was left to me:  pillows, sleeping bags, s’more fixins, bug spray, on and on.  No big deal except that Dan always bitches that I never sit down and relax with everyone.  Ha, as if I could.  It was getting dark.

Around dusk, the wind died down and we were able to use the portable fire pit that we bought back in 2007.  Never used it before then.  Figures.  I didn’t get to enjoy it, but I did have some s’mores.  I plan on using it a lot more once the weather gets warmer.

As you can tell from the slideshow, we weren’t exactly “roughing it”.  I had Dan bring the TV/DVD out and we watched The Great Outdoors.  We all fell asleep toward the end.  Then the cold set in.  Don’t know what we were thinking.  Ughh.  It was quite artic.

The girls were supposed to sleep on one end in there sleeping bags and I set our end up with our sleeping bags laid out, not separately zipped.  Well Miss Morgan decided to crawl in with us.  I was on the end toward the inside of the camper, Morgan on the end near the canvas and Dan in the middle.  I had about 7 inches of mattress and could only sleep on my side.  It was a very long night and I saw every hour tick by on the alarm clock.  I couldn’t sleep and I kept dreaming and waking up.  Ashley had the single bed all to herself.

Around 3:oo a.m. I remembered that the canvas was not attached to the bunk end on either end of the pup.  Morgan was sleeping with all of her body weight on the canvas.  Meaning that she could fall through, four feet to the ground, hitting the hitch on the way down.  The anxiety set in and I kept pulling her back toward Dan and I tried to tell him about the dilemma, but he was cranky, half-asleep and poo-pooing me and my concerns.

Somewhere after 4:00 a.m. the birds started in.  It was horrible.  Then the crows started in with their version of dueling bangos.  I was cold, my back and neck were killing me and I had had enough by 5:00 a.m.  My bladder and I decided to go back to the house and stay there.  After checking that Morgan was still fine, I went in and after taking care of business, I crawled into bed.  Didn’t think I would get warm ever again.

About five minutes after finally dowzing off, the doorbell rang.  Freaking Ashley went to the front of the house instead of the unlocked patio door.  Ughh.  Luckily she went right to sleep again with me.

Around 9:00 a.m.  I woke up and found Dan and Morgan in the living room.  Morgan couldn’t wait to spill the beans to me.  Yup, Morgan fell through the gap and was being held around the shoulders by her sleeping bag.  Dan said she was still sleeping like that, bare legs dangling outside, when he finally noticed that 70% of her was not present and accounted for.  He couldn’t even pull her up, he had to push her out and set her on the ground.  I guess she panicked at that point and freaked out.

That boy heard “I told you so”, for about 20 minutes straight. 

I have no idea why the stupid pup is designed like that.  Very dangerous.  The kids will not be sleeping in the inside spots ever again and we will be making modifications to prevent anything like that happening again.

Oh yeah, I also dreamt that there was a bear outside the pup.  I could vividly hear it growling and rummaging around.  Somehow I made it to the house and got a gun (I don’t even know how to load one) and tried to shoot it.  My one and only shot ricocheted off the television screen.  Dan finally had to take the gun and shoot it.  Crazy.

Needless to say, we won’t be attempting that again until it’s much warmer outside.  My poor old body can’t take it.

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Posted by on May 28, 2009 in Family, Funny, Kids, Photos

 

Neighbors

I don’t like neighbors. I like privacy. I don’t like noise and I don’t like that I don’t have control over that aspect of my life. I would like to have a house in the middle of 50 acres, all fenced in and wooded. Not wooded right next to the house, but all around so that I can’t see any other houses or junk behind garages.

My neighbor is a bored old man who doesn’t have any friends. He’s an asshole with a temper. We haven’t said a word to each other since the day I flew out of the house and chastised him in front of another neighbor for burying plastic garbage bags full of leaves in what is essentially our shared backyard. Not one word. We go out of our way not to make eye contact.

He mowed his lawn on Saturday, then again on Sunday and then again today. I think he is sick in the head. He has a four wheeler, lawn mower, tractor, leaf blower and tiller.  All of which grate on my nerves. He used the lawn mower, tractor and tiller today – brrrrr, brrrrrrmmmmm, brrrr, over and over and over. When one thing stops another starts. That man needs an effing job. If only he could keep one. 

Dan recently purchased some land in a nearby town for the sole purpose of hunting.  All land transactions are posted in the local newspapers.  Five people questioned us about it when it appeared.  I get it, it’s public record, but damn it’s annoying.  The neighbor’s wife asked Dan if we were going to build there.  Her husband, the asshole, must have been all excited at the prospect of us moving, specifically me.  Sorry, not moving next to another crazy bastard.  The guy who owns the property next to the land Dan bought is another dickhead.  Long story that I can’t tell on a public blog.

I’m constantly checking the local real estate listings and a realtor sends me stuff on a daily basis.  I know I should stay here and I do like my house, but man, what I wouldn’t give to get away from this particular neighborhood.  I live in a Village and the street I’m on is supposed to have a 30 mph speed limit – ha!  It’s more like 50 mph and dangerous for children and pets.

I lust after some of the houses in another Village near here, but I don’t think I could handle being that close to people again.  I went to a birthday party a few days ago that was held at a home in that Village.  There was no place to park, no place to turn around, so claustrophobic.  It just made me anxious to get out.  I realized that I need to stop thinking about possibly buying a house in that area.  It would be a possibility after the kids were grown up, but definitely not now.  I would be miserable.

I have a home.  I need to be patient and not so impetuous when it comes to a huge decision like buying a forever home.  It’s so hard because I want everything NOW.

Oh great, now he’s pounding on metal.  I’d like to pound on his head.  Where’s a home association committee when I need one?

 
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Posted by on May 20, 2009 in Family, Life, Rants

 

Mother’s Day 2009

Happy Mother’s Day (a day late). I meant to write yesterday, but yesterday sucked. Well, the first part did anyway. The evening was pretty nice. I found out this morning why I was throwing myself such a pity party yesterday. What a wreck. Oh well, it passed as usual.

Dan had to work until 4:00. In years past he would have gone turkey hunting, so he never did anything for Mother’s Day. No surprise there.

After a gloom and doom morning, I brought the girls to visit my parents. I got her the standard issue card and a big mounding container of impatiens. They always plant them in the antique caldron on the side of the house. The visit was the same as usual – mom annoying the hell out of me and me getting bitchy and bossy at her. My dad must love when I go over.

When I got home, Dan made dinner for us. He made venison tenderloin, stir-fried zucchini and boiled potatoes. It was quite good for a spur of the moment meal. I was supposed to get my make-up Mother’s Day lunch the day before, just him and me. Didn’t happen. The MIL was the cause. She is usually the reason we fight. So Saturday sucked too. That woman is a piece of work.

We even played a board game together. Shocker. We try to watch AFV as a family every night. The kids like it, we like it – win, win. They even went to bed easy for a change. To finish the night, Dan and I watched the Incredible Hulk. Hey it was on. It wasn’t bad. When I was little (circa 1978/1979) I used to watch the original television series. Yeah, um, I’m glad the hulk was just a big body builder in green makeup back then as opposed to the hulk of today. I once had a nightmare about the hulk back then and was found under the kitchen table crying in the middle of the night. I would have needed therapy had I seen the hulk of today at 3 or 4 years old.

Morgan & Mommy

On a brighter note, Morgan’s kindergarten class had a Mother’s Day Tea for all the mothers or grandmothers on Friday. It was nice. Morgan drew a picture of me and wrote all the things she liked about me, etc. They also had a little poem to read and a song. So cute. The written poem and the hand prints made me well up. It was about them growing up and looking back on their little handprints to see how small they used to be 😥 We were served cookies and iced tea. After a few photos, I got to bring her and Ashley home with me.

I went to the Tea that they had in Ashley’s kindergarten class two years prior. Big difference. Let’s just say that Morgan is a little more loving and friendlier and we’ll leave it at that.

 
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Posted by on May 11, 2009 in Family, Holidays, Kids, Life, Photos

 

Bullhead Fishing

Dan and I took the girls bullhead fishing last night.

Ashley caught her first bullhead and then caught several more before we had to leave.  She was quite bummed, but it was pitch dark and a school night.

Morgan didn’t want to fish, but was content picking snail and clam shells along the shore.

I was content too – sitting in the truck reading a book 🙂

 
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Posted by on May 4, 2009 in Family, Fishing, Kids, Photos

 

Happy Birthday Nina

It is my niece Nina’s birthday today.  I was six when she was born.  A little weird being an aunt at six.  Hard to believe that that little devil is knocking on 30’s door, married with kids.  Crazy I tell ya.

I was trying to find a photo of her to post, but I don’t have to cuz she did the work on her blog.

Happy Birthday and I hope you have a great day.

Love ya.

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2009 in Family, Photos

 

A Movie & A Meltdown (or Two)

Like I haven’t bitched about spring break enough already. 

Because it was officially spring break, I emailed Dan awhile back to see if he wanted to do anything with the kids while they were on vacation.  I gave him three simple options – A, B or C.  All options within driving distance of home.  He never opened the email until after we collectively chose option B.  Option B was the easiest and cheapest (perfect for Dan) going to pburgh last Monday and watching Monsters vs. Aliens at the new theater.  By the way, it was good, especially for a kid movie.  The rest of the outing involved running errands and didn’t go well.  Not by a long shot.

This is the email response I received from Dan (after the fact):

“Jolene, 

I guess I’ll choose option B.  After the movie we can bring the kids to Wal-mart to do a little grocery shopping.  They should be good after bringing them to the movie first.  After shopping we can stop at Wendy’s for a little snack.  Ashley can get a plain burger and Morgan should do just fine with some nuggets without fries.  She’s not a big fan of fries is she?  After getting food the kids will act well for the rest of the way home.  Sounds good to me, lets make plans but don’t tell the kids.  It will be a surprise.”

Smartass.

 
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Posted by on April 18, 2009 in Family, Funny, Kids, Parenting

 

Easter

About Easter.

I had been dreading Easter for over a week. 

Back before Christmas, I let my MIL have it with both barrels.  17 years of pent up resentment spewed forth for over an hour.  Needless to say, I avoided her like the plague after that.  Dan was not pleased that I spoke my mind, although the whole family feels the same way I do (seriously). 

Long story short I went to Easter lunch with Dan and the girls.  I did not hug anyone, but I did say Happy Easter to everyone in the room.  I hate being forced to embrace people just because.  So I didn’t.  Score one for me.

Then his sister showed up with scraggelly boyfriend number 987.  I don’t even bother to learn their names anymore.  She also brought her dog (see photo below).  She always brings her dog.  It has fleas and ear mites and was scratching and digging away all afternoon.  Yuck.  She is 35.  For the past 17 years she predictably plucks things such as olives out of communal bowls with her germy fingers.  I called her on it in front of everyone this year.  Yeah, that’s what I do.  I’m a bitch who doesn’t like filth.

So lunch was put out.  His mother took off, mumbling something about having to go somewhere.  She didn’t eat with us.  She came back awhile later and sat off to the side.  She didn’t talk to anyone.  The food sucked.  I ate as little as possible.  I’m not trying to be mean, the food actually sucked.

Same holiday, different year.  Spent the prerequisite time there as a “family” and then we left.  Before we left, I made sure to make eye contact with the MIL and say thank you for dinner.  She nodded and that was all.

Thank God the next holiday isn’t until November.

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Posted by on April 18, 2009 in Family, Holidays, Life