My father invited us over for dinner Sunday. I was surprised when I got there because he made Thanksgiving in April. Yes, he made turkey and all the fixins. That was exciting, but having to deal with my mother was not. She makes me CRAZY.
I’ll spare you the dysfunctional details of the evening, but I will share one of her many helpful comments. While showing my mom where the hem of her pants should fall, I turned around to show her where my hem fell. What did she say? She said, “You’ve put on weight, haven’t you?” So I turned around and said, “So have you, about twenty years worth.” Take that.
I also used that as an opportunity to lecture her on proper etiquette while in public. I told her if she felt the urge to make comments about people or their children while at basketball practice, that she would be banned by me. I wish I had a mini, low voltage taser that I could use on her whenever she’s about to humiliate me.
Typical visit with my mom.
At least I got an excellent meal out of it.